


The Worst Possible Situation

by GoldenScroll



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Consensual Blood Drinking, Destiel - Freeform, Drunk Dean, Drunk Driving, Emotionally Hurt Castiel, Female Castiel, Flashbacks, Forced wincest, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Protective Dean Winchester, Rape/Non-con Elements, Threats, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6701941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenScroll/pseuds/GoldenScroll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They ganked Lucifer's ass back to hell right? Dean had seen it with his own two eyes, but Cas and Sam? Well let's say Dean definitely hadn't seen that one coming.</p><p> </p><p>** Finished **</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A/N This will probably be a short fic, just a break from my other two longer one's maybe 3 or four chapters. Any comments or Kudos are received gratefully :)

 

Dean slamed the front door to the bunker behind him. Ever since they had ganked Lucifer's ass straight back to hell Cas had been off. Dean ....well not only Dean but Sam too, had put their asses on the line to save his sorry bacon and not even so much as a thank you. It wasn't that Dean was expecting everything to go back to normal, he knew that it would be a while before Cas would be able to forgive himself for the harm he had nearly caused to Sam and to Dean but it was the way Cas looked at him as though he were someone else, If Dean didn't know better he would say that it was as though Castiel despised him, well there that was for gratitude for you.

 

Dumping the grocery bags on the counter Dean was beginning to wonder where both Castiel and Sam were, he couldn't hear either of them. Normally if Dean did the shopping Sam would be there peering over his shoulder commenting on anything that looked remotely unhealthy which was most of it. 'Cas!!' He yelled 'Hey Sammy get your ass down here now and help me put this shopping away'' no response, the bunker was silent. Well almost, was that.... Could Dean hear creaking? He mounted the stairs, hand over his denim clad pistol instinctively, the noise was coming from Sam's room, tempted to call out once more for his brother he changed his mind, hunters intuition, he didn't want to give warning to any potential threat. Edging closer he could hear the creaking louder now and grunts? okay maybe Sammy was entertaining he should probably knock but it seemed unlikely that Sam would bring someone he barely knew to the bunker it was too risky, so Dean decided to stick with plan A. Quietly shouldering the door he took a deep breath, pistol now out of his pocket and raised he threw the door open.

 

Reeling he struggled to take in the scene before him, Sam face down on the bed naked!!, ropes securing his arms and legs, but that wasn't the worst of it, straddling him cock buried deep inside his little brother was his best friend. ''Castiel'' he breathed not sure exactly what he was seeing here, Sam's face whipped up and Dean could only describe the look on his face as pure horror when his eyes locked with Dean's. ''Castiel you step away from him right now or so help me god I won't be held responsible for my actions'' Castiel made no attempt to move. " It's not what you think Dean, Sam and I, he consented I would never touch him against his will Dean you know that" the look of hurt and sincerity that crossed his features made Dean flinch, a new feeling... One of jealousy? Began to surface "This true Sammy?... This what you want?" Sam looked at him shakily, obviously humiliated at Dean finding him like this with Castiel of all people. It was faint but Dean saw him nod before lowering his head. "See Dean...'' The tone of Cas's voice was more domneering than Dean was used to, he felt sick how could this be what Sam wanted, hell what Cas wanted? They had never given him any sign.... Any indication, Should Dean be happy for them? He didn't feel happy he felt sick, betrayed even and he still couldn't fight the alien feeling of what he was convinced must be jealousy.  
He stepped back out of the room wanting to distance himself from the scene before him, shutting the door as he left even in his distress wanting to give Sam some dignity back. Unable to comprehend what had just happened dean snatched up his jacket needing some air and something stronger. He definitely needed some space to figure this situation out. 

 

Sam heard the door shut before he raised his head again. his mind begging 'no dean, don't leave me, not here like this Dean!please come back, see through it Dean please!!' Tears streaked his face as he felt 'not Cas' still inside him still using his body, nails raking his skin viciously, shuddering he felt his attacker lean in, his breath hot against Sam's face. " now that was easy, good boy..... We're going to have so much fun..... Aren't we Sammy?" Sam said nothing staying still, he felt his head jerk pulled roughly by his hair and the sickening bulge filling his ass jerk harshly causing him to whimper in pain. " I said aren't we Sammy? Such a shame if we had to see poor Dean in this position, violated by his ickle angel fwiend' Lucifer's words were mocking but Sam knew he was just itching to put his threats into practice and Sam could not risk giving him that chance. "I'll do what you want just don't hurt Dean please, leave him alone" His skin crawled as lucifer 's tongue wrapped around his ear, hard member shifting inside of him. " that's my good boy" he breathed..." Now where were we...oh...yes i remember" Sam could hear the wicked smile in his voice and in that moment Sam wished he was dead. 

 

A/N please r/r any let me know what y'all think.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I decided to post another chap newayz .......btw can I say I no way condone drunk driving it just serves a purpose in this storyline, but if it's a trigger for you, you might want to skip this chapter.

 

The whiskey burned as it slid down Dean's throat, he wasn't sure he should be driving the Impala back but alongside a backstabbing brother, clueless best friend and constantly having to save the world from some random ass monster he guessed it was the least of his worries as he ordered another. The more he thought about it the more angry he became, Sam must of known how Dean felt about Cas.... I mean ok so Dean had never SAID anything but he thought his concern over the whole Lucifer/Castiel thing had been fairly evident, it didn't take a genius and Sam wasn't exactly dumb. Did Sam even really like Cas? I mean he had never shown any indication that he was interested in dudes...( but then he guessed that was a bit pot kettle black) or was this just another way of Sam having to have everything that Dean had, it had always been the same and hadn't Dean given up enough for his little brother? did Sam really want to take Castiel away from him as well?  
Head swirling Dean got up from the bar, well he'd had about enough, he wasn't going to just let this one go he was going to show his selfish little brother he couldn't just HAVE everything he wanted especially when that something or someone meant so much to Dean, he wasn't gonna just give up on Cas without a fight.

 

Sam was sitting on the sofa when Dean returned swaying in the doorway, He couldn't see Castiel anywhere 'good' he wasn't sure he could stomach watching those two canoodle in front of the TV all evening.  
'' Where's Cassss'' He slurred plonking himself down on the sofa invading Sam's personal space, Sam didn't look at him when he answered.  
'' I don't know' his voice sounded flat still not turning round. Dean could see the purpling on Sam's wrists where he had been bound and it made him feel sick.  
'' Lovers Tiff'' He sneered ignoring the way Sam shivered, although if he hadn't been so intoxicated he would of noticed that it wasn't even slightly cold.  
'' Please Dean, just drop it, you're drunk.. did you drive?'' The question made Dean even more annoyed, so it wasn't good enough that he had stolen Cas from him, now he had to go and get all judgmental.  
'' Look at me'' Dean spat aggressively grabbing at Sam's chaffed wrist pulling him round to face him, Sam winced in pain.  
'' Jesus Dean! stop you're hurting me what's wrong with yo..'' but he didn't get chance to finish his sentence as Dean had him pinned against the back of the sofa by his throat, he struggled to free himself but Dean was faster, throwing a wild punch that knocked Sam's head backwards like a pop up doll.  
'' Dean please stop!! you've got this all wrong'' His older brother had worked himself up into a frenzied rage like Sam had never seen before.  
'' Why did you have to take him huh? have I not given enough to you Sammy, not sacrificed enough for us? why you gotta take from me the only good thing to come out of this whole screwed up mess we call our lives.'' He threw another punch but this time Sam ducked.  
'' Dean you need to calm down, please I'm not.. I haven't... I don...'' but Dean cut him off again.  
'' what? you don't what? please don't tell me that you don't even want him... I saw you... you like it rough like that huh Sammy all tied up, maybe I should get you ready for him, didn't realize the two of you were such sadists''once again he snatched at Sams bruised wrists this time causing him to cry out. Taking his gun out of his pocket he held it against Sam's chest backing him into the wall. Sam's eyes widened  
'' Dean what the hell are you doing'' but it wasn't the gun that scared him, he didn't think Dean was really going to shoot him, it was the handcuffs that he produced from his pocket.No doubt left over from some hunt or another.  
'' you wanna strip down Sammy and let me cuff you up, or maybe you'd prefer me to get the ropes from your little trist earlier'' Dean's eyes shone.  
'' NO! Dean I don't want that, god let me go I don't want this'' Tears were stinging in his eyes, how could Dean think Sam wanted that? memories of earlier with Lucifer surfaced and he felt like he was going to vomit, He couldn't see his brother anymore all he saw was Lucifer holding the cuffs and the gun, Lucifer threatening him. He whimpered.  
'' Please no!! stop!!! I Can't... not again please''  
Dean dropped the cuffs, and pushed the gun back into his pocked. Even through his drunken stupor he could see he'd taken things waaaayyy too far, he's been angry and Jealous and he'd wanted to hurt Sam like he was hurting, but he hadn't meant to terrify him. Surely Sam knew Dean wouldn't shoot him, Hell Dean hadn't meant it. Any of it. He wouldn't of made Sam strip and tied him up, he wasn't some kind of god damned sicko, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize either, not now he needed to sleep it off they'd talk in the morning.  
'' Just get out of my sight Sam'' He snarled before tottering drunkenly towards his room. He didn't know why Sam was acting so prissy anyhow like Dean would actually ever hurt him. Idiot. 

 

A/N was that just a little too angst y, I hope I didn't make Dean too much of an Ahole but obviously he doesn't get why Sam had the panic attack she thinks Sam should know him better. Also he really is hurting over Cas. Still he goes back to normal shortly.....


	3. Chapter 3

When Dean woke up his head was throbbing and he felt like he was about to hurl, at first his actions the previous night were a blur, but as the mist began to clear he began to feel a different type of churning in the pit of his stomach, one that wasn't caused by the copious amounts of alcohol that he had consumed.  
Pulling himself out of bed he threw his dressing gown on, the need to find Sam and iron out this mess growing by the second.

 

Tumbling into the kitchen he was surprised to see Castiel seated at the kitchen table with just a bath towel round his toned waist lazily reading a newspaper.  
" uh hey Cas" Dean acknowledged him lamely trying to avoid starring at his friends naked torso  
"Dean" it was a simple enough response but Dean couldn't shake that feeling that something in Castiels manner was off, he shrugged.  
"Uh.. you seen Sam? It's just we had a few words last night and I really need to speak to him" Dean hoped that Cas wouln't push the issue, his head was still pounding and he wasn't in the mood for sharing.  
"Is that so? No sorry I haven't seen him since last night, must of been up early, you know Sam" yes Dean did know Sam and it wasn't that he couldn't of gone for an early morning jog that was perfectly normal, what wasn't normal however was that it was now approacing mid day. Dean pulled a face in his friends direction.  
"Some jog, he didn't mention where he was going?" Again Castiel shook his head but this time didn't even bother to look up from his newspaper. Ok so something was definately off, maybe they actually had,had a lovers tiff and that was why Sam had been acting so strangely last night.  
"Huh.. Ok" Dean reached for his jacket "Well I don't know about you but I'm starving, I'm going to grab a burger, coming?" Dean knew that Castiel couldn't eat but hell it seemed rude not to ask, plus he figured he couldn't avoid Cas forever now that he and Sam were an item, Dean didn't have to like it but he guessed he would have to kinda accept it, that's if Sam would ever speak to him again after last night's outburst.  
"No thanks Dean, I guess i'll stick around here and wait for Sammy to come back" ok now that was creepy weird, Castiel never called Sam, Sammy and the grin that he was wearing well let's just say that was less than welcoming too.  
"O....k" Dean breathed in and headed for the door not sure what to make of a loved up Cas, that was going to take some getting used to.

 

Once seated in the diner Dean picked at his food, it really wasn't like him to pass up something so unhealthy but in truth his mind kept wondering back to last nights argument, and now that his brain was starting to sobrer up he was beginning to question Sams behaviour even more, what had he meant by  
'I can't go through that again'   
when had Dean ever willingly put Sam through anything? Why had his 6ft plus brother been scared shitless by some stupid argument, ok so it had gotten a little heavy with the gun and all but surely Sam couldn't really belive that Dean would shoot him!!! That was absurd. Something didn't add up and Cas's weird ass behaviour wasn't helping his muddled thoughts either, but surely Cas would never hurt Sam? I mean ok he was an angel so he had super strength that no human could match but this was Cas.... His best friend...someone he loved and trusted almost as much as Sam. In his confusion Dean hadn't noticed the Small dark haired female slide in the Boothe beside him and almost leapt out of his seat when she spoke.  
"Dean" it was familiar and yet alien to him at the same time, he studied her for a second, long dark hair, big boobs.. 'Ok he shouldn't linger on those', thick lashes and blue eyes.. Now the eyes were really famili........holy shit.

 

"Castiel?"


	4. Chapter 4

'' Castiel? '' he questioned breathlessly, so quietly he wasn't even sure that he had actually spoken his friends name at all. 

'' Dean'' Castiel responded '' We don't have much time, Lucifer has men every where..'' but before he could continue his astounded friend interrupted as the horrific truth dawned.

'' Wait a minute.. If you're... if you're Castiel then who the hell is wearing Jimmy Novak as a meat suit?'' shaking his head and continuing before Castiel could reply '' We didn't gank Lucifer at all did we Cas? holy shit we ganked you..... and Lucifer... he's oh my god Sam!'' 

Dean leaped up from the table fully intent on heading straight back to the bunker to hell with the consequences, he had witnessed his own brothers rape, worse than that he'd shut the door on it and gone out on the town while Lucifer had done god knows what to his little brother and then he'd..... he'd threatened to... to leave Sam hauled up like a sitting duck waiting for his rapists return. How would Sam ever begin to forgive him? how would he ever forgive himself?

'' Please, Dean sit down'' Castiel whispered urgently, Dean absent mindlessly noted how weird it was watching familiar expressions play across alien features, he also wasn't sure that Cas being a girl was a bad thing. but now wasn't the time to dwell on that, he sat back down with a thump, trusting that Castiel had good reason for stopping him from almost certain suicide.

''ok'' Castiel went on hurriedly '' you may have wondered why Lucifer hasn't just killed you both outright, I mean after all, he has tried to do that a couple of times recently'' Dean hadn't wondered that at all up until Castiel had just said it and now he had to add that to his growing list of anxieties towards whatever the hell might be happening to Sam at this very moment. great. 

Castiel went on, seemingly unaware of Deans new discomfort.  
'' Well, Lucifer can't. He can't kill Sam, I don't know quite when he realized it but sharing the same head space I realized it too, they are linked in some way which makes it impossible for Lucifer to actually kill him'' Dean felt a small amount of relief wash over him. It was however, short lived.  
'' The main problem that we have here is that Lucifer has realized that given the right circumstances i.e if Sam decided to return to drinking demon blood''  
'' Not gonna happen'' Dean retorted  
'' Well theoretically speaking if he did'' Castiel pressed on urgently '' Then he could become stronger than Lucifer himself, hence the nickname ' Boy king of Hell' '' He finished up looking at Dean intently to see if the hunter had understood exactly what he was trying to say.  
'' Sooo what? he's back to trying to get Sam to say yes?'' Castiel nodded slightly '' That's one option, of course if he possessed Sams vessel then that would clear everything up nicely, but Lucifer knows that Sam isn't going to roll over and agree, he's tried that one before remember? so his other option is to keep Sam subdued and completely in control by using his only weakness against him and that weakness Dean is you. The only way you can help Sam is by convincing him and Lucifer that the bond you share as brothers is severed. I saw your argument the other night'' Dean thought he saw Castiel blush slightly but it may of been the lighting. He wasn't sure how he felt about Cas witnessing that scene.  
'' I can't just abandon him, that argument was a mistake, I was drunk, I would never hurt Sam you of all people should know that''  
'' You have to do this Dean, it's the only way that you can save Sam, Lucifer needs to believe that his hold on Sam is unstable and Sam needs to believe that you don't pose a threat to him trying to stop Lucifer. Sam won't be able to kill him either but if he gains enough power it may be enough to trap Lucifer again. It's a long shot but it might just give us a chance to hit Lucifer while he's weak. It's all we have. I don't know to what lengths you will have to go to, to fully convince them i'm sorry Dean but you may have to hurt Sam in order to save him'' 

Dean studied his angels beautiful face and nodded slowly '' I don't like it though Cas, I don't like it one bit and i'm not even sure if I can do this but I will try for Sam's sake i'll give this crazy plan a shot'' and before he knew what was happening warm sticky cherry chapstick was ghosting his lips making them tingle, Dean closed his eyes and then as abrubtly as it had started the sensation disappeared altogether along with his best firend.

Did Castiel just kiss him?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N literally being honest this fic has taken on a life of it's own, and to be honest i don't feel any more responsible than victor Frankenstein.... I was only trying to be creative ... Honest.  
BTW this will b a longer fic than expected but hoping to wrap it up in no more than 10 chapters... This is seriously the darkest thing I have ever written so i apologise in advance and please heed new warnings.

 

Sam returned to the bunker having avoided it all day, he wasn't sure how much longer he could take this, it wasn't just Lucifer he was avoiding but Dean too. How could Dean think that Sam would try and take Cas away from him? Sam loved Dean, he would never do anything to hurt Dean, he'd known that his feelings for Dean were unusual (to say the least) for a long time but he'd pushed that aside. Dean liked Cas and that was blatantly obvious, Dean would probably kick Sam's ass to timbuckto if he realized Sam's true feelings, and Sam was just happy to have his big brother by his side, but now things had changed. dean hated his guts.

Sam flung his sweaty shirt on the bed, he was pretty sure it must've stunk after he'd been out in it most of the day jogging at times and then walking mostly, at one point he'd stopped for a cool beer, no food though he felt too sick to manage any food. Dean would dissaprove he thought absent mindedly as he heard the door to the bunker slam. He held his breath dreading it being Lucifer.  
"Sam" he heard the familiar gruff voice, it was Dean. Although Sam felt heavy hearted at the sound of his brothers voice, it was nothing compared to the sheer terror he felt when he heard the devils.  
"Up here Dean" he responded trying to sound as natural as possible.  
Minutes later his elder brother stood in the door way, broad shoulders, full lips, Sam pulled his gaze away.  
"Whaddya want Dean?" He didn't look up from folding his clothes, slightly scared that Dean was going to go off on one again. He really didn't think he could deal with another panic attack right now especially as he couldn't afford to tell Dean the truth in any sense of the word.

Dean said nothing swaggering over to Sam, cute checked shirt two buttons open. He placed his hands on Sam's shoulders, smiling in a way that made Sam go week at the knees,beautiful white pearly teeth and mesmerizing green eyes.  
"Gotta teach you a lesson baby boy" Dean drawled, Sam stepped back almost tripping over a pile of DVD's he'd left lying around.  
Ok so this was everything Sam had imagined. Everything he had wanted but something wasn't right. His Dean wouldn't act like this. Maybe it was Lucifer again. Sam swallowed.  
"Hey Dean I don't really feel so good, can we talk tomorrow" Sam asked innocently enough, testing his ground.  
" Oh I don't know Sammy.... Why don't we talk now" Dean breathed his lips ghosting Sam's neck, arms grabbing him roughly pushing him down on to the bed.  
Wide eyed Sam gasped "Dee.... Man what's gotten in to you, please just leave, you're freaking me out a little" Dean chuckled, but it wasn't a sound that Sam recognised, it was sinister and cruel. He tried to get up, and although he had a height advantage on his brother, Dean had the extra years of fighting experience, before Sam knew what was happening, he was pinned mercilessly to the bed, handcuffs springing each wrist. Now the younger Winchester really began to panic, this could not really be Dean, Surely Dean didn't hate him this much.  
" Please Dean what are you doing? Are you possessed?"  
"Not possessed Sammy" Dean retorted.

 

Dean proceeeded to show Sam that he was not possessed in every way either of them could think of. In the end Sam had to believe that the man standing before him really was his brother, and in the end he just whispered quietly.  
"Please Dean, just let me go"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Reeeally sorry about this chapter in advance so please don't hate me....!

 

Dean looked down at his brother cuffed to the bed, he'd gone over a thousand scenario's in his head trying desperately to get out of what he was about to do. He wasn't just going to make Lucifer think that their bond was severed he had to sever it in reality, it was the only way to be sure that this plan would work. Dean didn't honestly believe that if he asked Sam to pack his bags and leave that it would be enough, he knew deep down no amount of yelling and arguing heck not even a brawl would convince Sam to stand up to Lucifer and risk throwing Dean under a bus. It had to be real, he had to make Sam hate him In order to save him and even then he wasn't sure it would be enough.

'' Please Dean... stop this, let me go'' Trying to block out his brothers begging Dean considered gagging him to make it easier on himself but he just couldn't do it. Instead he tried his best to put himself into auto pilot the way he had, had to so many times back in Hell. He knew how to break someone, knew what to do to make them wish their life was over, he just never dreamed he would have to do it to Sam. 

'' Shush Sammy, don't make this any harder than it has to be..... you took something precious from me, and now I'm going to make you see how it feels to be totally and utterly betrayed by the one person you thought always had your back... how it feels to lose everything'' Sam was starring at his brother horror struck.  
'' Seriously Dean.. whatever it is you're going to do... don't you don't have to do this.. you've got it all wrong'' He was tugging uselessly at his cuffs, tears in his beautiful trusting hazel eyes, eyes that Dean had seen every expression cross over the years, horror, sadness, confusion and happiness..... Dean wasn't sure he would ever see that expression in those eyes again. He swallowed ignoring Sam's pleas slowly unzipping Sam's jeans. He couldn't switch the feeling of revulsion off the way he thought he would be able to. He would never forgive himself for this. Ever.............. 

 

.............................................................. and when he gave his final thrust coming despite himself, he knew he would never forget the shaking trembling form underneath him, tears silently streaking his little bothers cheeks. Keeping up the act even though his heart was aching and dying inside of him.  
'' Now pack your stuff and leave Sam, you are nothing to me anymore.. and if you ever come back I'll make sure you wish you'd never been born'' with that he lifted himself off the sobbing younger man, so uselessly broken by one single act.. and dean still had to yet realize exactly how far he'd gone.  
'' One last thing before I let your sorry ass go'' Dean took a syringe from out of his ruck sack  
'' Dean Please no'' and his brother sounded so utterly lost and heart broken as he eyed the red liquid Dean held up, that he nearly fell at the last hurdle, steeling himself he pushed the needle containing demons blood straight in to Sams exposed arm. He knew that Sam would need a helping hand starting down the route that would give him the strength and power to defeat Lucifer.  
'' Why Dean?... Why would you do this to me?.... you've drugged me... you've rap...?'' Sam gasped unable to finish his sentence as his brother undid the cuffs  
'' Just get out Sam'' Dean turned his head, he couldn't stop the tears that were threatening to spill for much longer, the tears that would ruin everything and make Sam realize something was terribly wrong.  
'' Get out before one of us ends this permanently''

He wasn't sure quite how long they stood like that, Sam in the doorway distraught and unmoving whilst Dean hovered near the window with his head turned, convinced he would never be able to look his brother in the face again and it wasn't until he heard footsteps leaving the room and the door to the bunker close, much more quietly than he had anticipated that Dean let his own tears flow, feeling every ounce of the severed bond between them as though it were a real flesh wound. Just like that the person that he loved more than anyone in this world or any other was gone and this time Dean couldn't see how it could ever be fixed.

 

Theme tune ending to this chapter.... Michael Boltons ' How am I supposed to live without you' ........


	7. Chapter 7

A/N ... I'm not sure that I conveyed what I wanted to in last chapter *worried look* I deliberately didn't go into detail as there will be flashbacks from either side, also I felt it unnecessary to my plot, but I'm sorry if anyone felt there was something missing. I think for me the last chapter was Dean making the ultimate sacrifice for his brother.... it seems odd that he would go that far..... but the Winchesters as far as I'm concerned are outside of normal boundaries.... any way here is Sam's POV hope you enjoy.

 

 

Sam spilled out of the bunker, barely able to breathe or move. He'd managed to put a few things in a bag and he had a little money, but really he had no idea where he was going to go. He had nothing and no one if he didn't have Dean. His head was swirling from the demon blood, he needed to go somewhere and lock himself up, otherwise he was going to become a danger to everyone around him, he would become a monster, he couldn't believe Dean would do this to him of all things, maybe in a normal world Sam should of been more concerned about the other things Dean had put him through, but his hunters instinct was taking over for the moment and he was pretty sure it had to do with the Demon blood pumping through his body.

 

Checking into a motel, Sam had never been so relieved to see four dismal walls, he just had to hang on until the demon blood was out of his system and then he would be ok, then he would go back and confront Dean when he was absolutely sure that he was no longer going to be a danger to anyone. He locked the Motel room door, trying not to think about Lucifer or Dean..... _Oh God dean why???_ ......... as he produced handcuffs from his bag and proceeded to cuff himself the the sink, now it didn't matter how bad it got all he had to was wait.........

 

....... Sam waited, the stomach cramps, the sweating the paranoia... and the hallucinations oh god the hallucinations...

'' _Dean god no Dean no.... Please no.....'' Sam felt the head of his brother cock breaching his virgin hole.. he couldn't breathe it was all too much, his beautiful kind loving older brother was going to rape him!? nononononono ........._

 

 

'' Sam!'' Sam felt himself being roughly shaken, there was a small slim brunette shaking his arm roughly, he was pretty sure she was another hallucination.

'' Please...'' He gasped feeling beads of  sweat dripping down his face '' Please I know you're not real, please leave me alone'' He knew it was stupid shouting at a phantom but his brain felt so addled he felt so confused it didn't really matter anymore, part if him wished that he would just sink into oblivion and maybe that would be it, maybe Sam Winchester would be able to finally be at peace, Dean would never of allowed it, but Dean didn't care anymore... Dean had abused, humiliated him and.. then..then drugged him before throwing him away like an unwanted puppy, he felt heavy chesty sobs coming from his own overwrought body.

'' Sam stop this, Sam please'' The voice in his hallucination sounded familiar, he knew the tone but he also knew it couldn't be right.

'' Please don't taunt me, I know you can't be Cas'' Sam sobbed even more heavily now as he felt his whole world come crashing down around him, If there was anyone that might have still cared jot for him it might of been Cas, but Cas was Dead, Lucifer had told him so.

'' Sam it is me, you need to calm down, please, Lucifer will not be kept at bay for long he already knows something has gone down between you and Dean he will be coming for you, I have several more vials of Demons blood, you need to take them all, and then all you need to do it detain him long enough for me to devise a trap, I will send him back to the cage Sam trust me but you need to drink these you need to give yourself the power that will be required to stop him.

 

'' I can't...' Sam sobbed miserably '' I will become a monster''

The small female started shaking her head

'' No Sam you won't, I won't allow that to happen to you, you just have to do this, do as I ask and you will be fine I promise'' Sam wanted to believe it, he wanted to believe that this really was Cas.... although a large part of his brain was struggling to process that Cas was alive.... and Cas was a girl? then another very real terrifying thought occurred to him, say this was real and Sam had his doubts that it was, If he tried to trap Lucifer, Lucifer would go after Dean, and despite everything Dean had put him through, the thought of Lucifer doing those horrific things he had threatened to his brother made Sam feel sick, but somewhere in his confused tired brain the devil on his shoulder reminded Sam that  Dean had done those very things to him. Sam shot that Devil straight down and defiantly turned to the possible illusion that insisted to be Cas. 

 

'' Ok... If this is real... Cas I'll do it, but please .... no matter what, don't let Lucifer hurt Dean'''


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * Chapter 8 now posted*

A/N... seriously I'm still listening to Michael Bolton and I fear it's having a negative affect on my fics.... someone please send me a hot line for people suffering from this kind of addiction. I mean seriously help me out here before it's too late. Soon It's going to take over my entire life I will just sit in this chair with his tunes repeated in a loop.......Oh wait thats already happened ..... so you can blame anything you don't like on the fact I am now a full blown addict with no known support group. Here's the next chap.... r/r if you like this stuff... also you can you just review if you like Michael Bolton thats cool too..... Wait what!? I need help.

 

PS- Destiel Smoochy woochy stuff in this one.

 

 

Dean took one sip of his whiskey, stood and violently threw it against the wall watching as it smashed into a thousand pieces, each piece gleaming like a sea of glittering tears littering his rug. Damn him now he would have to fill another glass and he knew he would be tempted to repeat the action until there were no more glasses left.... perhaps in the entire world and even then it would not be enough to still his rage. Deciding against the glass he took a swig from the bottle.. the second bottle of the evening.

_'' No Dean no... please Dean don't do this to me... we can work this out Dean.. Please Dean it's not that.. I just please not like this.. I'll get out ... I'll go I won't come back just please not this anything but this I'm so sorry Dean .. nooooooo get off me please..........  we're brothers''_

 

His brothers terrified high pitched pleas that had eventually tapered off  into awful sickening shaking, snuffling and whimpering  as Dean had started to work him open, a necessity if he didn't want to cause severe possible permanent damage to his brother, but each second had just added to the torture, and to think Dean thought that selling his soul was the hardest thing he had ever done. Selling his soul and going to hell had been like eating cake in comparison. Dean would go to hell a thousand times over if it meant he didn't have to do that to Sam.... his Sammy. There was something else bothering Dean  but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was..his thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on the door.

A small solitary smile crossed his lips despite himself when he saw who it was. A tall sultry looking female with a castiel shaped soul lurking just beneath the surface of her very ample bosom. Dean shook himself mentally, seriously this wasn't the time he needed to get a grip.

'' Have you seen Sam?''

Castiel nodded earnestly as Dean stepped aside to allow access to the bunker

''He's agreed to do it, he's going to take rest of the blood, we won't have much time, I am assuming that Lucifer will have picked up on the fact that everything is not as it should be so to speak, he will go and seek Sam out, Sam will be ready for him.''

'' And what then?'' Worry was making it's way through his muddled lustful thoughts.

'' We are going to trap him in a dybbuk box'' Castiel said matter of factly '' What? isn't that, that freaky wine cabinet thing? so Sam's going to trap the devil inside a haunted wine cabinet?'' Dean was not impressed '' I thought that whole thing was a hoax anyhow?''Castiel started shaking her head.

'' I've done some research and it looks like there are several of these boxes scattered  across the world, they are one of the only things strong enough to hold a demon.... and I figured if they are strong enough to hold a Demon then maybe they're strong enough to hold an angel'' Deans eyes widened

'' What maybe? we're operating on a maybe with Sam's life now'' Cas winced

'' We really don't have a lot of choice, once he is in the box myself and the other angels should be able to figure out what to do with him on a more permanent basis''

'' So you got one of these dybby wotzit boxes stickin in your back pocket? coz I don't think me and Sam have one lying around the bunker'' Dean still didn't like the plan. Castiel just smiled and leaned in closer to him, he could smell her perfume mixed with cherry lip gloss, before he could stop himself he pressed his lips passionately against his friends relieved when her own lips returned the favor and they stood for a moment drinking each other in. Cas's arm gently slipping around his waist, and he was lost in the moment just for a _second._

 _''Dean please.... Please not like this''_ and the moment was gone in a flash, Dean pushing Cas away from him as though she'd shoved an angel blade in his back. As those words echoed in his head for about the hundredth time since the event Dean suddenly realized what it was that was bothering him. Sam hadn't said no in the way that he would of expected, Sam had said 'not like this' something was very wrong with that statement. Dean was beginning to feel sick..... could it be that Sam had more than brotherly feelings towards him, surely not? but if he did.... dread creeping through his body... if he did it had just made the situation a thousand time worse than it already was and Dean thought it was already about as bad as it could get. 

'' Sorry Cas'' He mumbled seeing hurt and confusion  in the angels eyes. '' It's just everything with Sam, I just need to get my head around things ya'no'' Cas nodded but she didn't look wholly convinced.

'' Ok Dean, I will let you know when the task is completed, I think it best you sit this one out, we can't risk Lucifer using you against Sam'' Dean never sat out on a job, but he guessed he might have to make an exception this time so he simply bowed his head and  patted his friend on the shoulder.

'' you just make sure you both get out in one piece''

When he looked up his angel was gone.

A/N Please note chapter 9 is NOT up but I am having some problems with the site on this one. Sorry!


	9. Chapter 9

Sam stood trembling, tears and snot falling down his face. Exhausted from the fight with Lucifer, his tremors more from the need for more blood than his weariness. He stood hand poised at the door of the bunker. He needed Dean. Castiel had left the moment they had succeeded in trapping the devil inside that box. His need. Not want. For his brother increasing. He couldn't believe his own brother had reduced him to this. This, this thing. No this monster, this addict.

 

The door swung open before Sam even knocked. He didn't know if it was luck or instinct on his brothers behalf.  
"Sam., Sammy" Sam heard Deans voice in all its familiarity, he sounded like he cared but Sam wasn't sure any more, he wasn't sure of anything any more but the need for blood and power.  
'"Please," he stuttered stumbling forward, vaguely aware of strong arms reaching out to catch him. Supporting him as he was led through the bunker to his room.  
" lie down Sammy , you need to rest" that voice again, Sam obeyed without thinking and his body was so wracked from the day's events he felt nothing as he slipped into temporary oblivion.

Dean went to work as soon as Sam passed out, securing his brothers wrists to the bed posts with hand cuffs. His feet too. He didn't really want to gag his little brother but if it got too extreme he would. He remembered the last detox Sam had gone through, and maybe they would have to use the panic room again but Dean severely hoped that it wouldn't come to that. Last time Sam had been further gone. Almost too far gone. Dean choked as he remembered, he wouldn't lose Sam to this. He couldn't lose Sam. Couldn't function without him. He knew Sam wouldn't like going through this any more than Dean could bare to put him through it, but really? What choice did he have. Although he struggled to force down the bile lodged in his throat as the sight of Sam spread eagled helpless on the bed led his mind back to recent events etched so deep in his memory he was sure if he lived a thousand lifetimes the images would still be there.  
" please, Dean no.... Please Dean we're brothers..... Not like this"  
Dean jumped his memories seeming all too real for a moment, the moment before he realized it wasn't his memory at all. Sam was struggling against his cuffs, sweating , eyes un focused in Deans direction, and Dean wasn't sure if it was a dream, an hallucination or what, dread seeping through him as another thought occurred, maybe Sam was awake, and maybe he thought it was all going to happen again, and Dean just couldn't he couldn't do this right now. Sam was too out of it to understand and Dean needed to fully understand how he had let it get this far himself because in all honesty he just wasn't sure anymore. Closing his eyes he turned away leaving the room and the struggling figure on the bed.

 

 

"Dean" And Dean heard his Angel before he saw him. No longer the tall, busty brunette that he had begun to become accustomed to but once more a dweeb in a brown trench coat with a mop of messy black hair, and it made Deans heart ache all the more to see it. Until now he hadn't even begun to realize how much he missed Cas being Cas. "God Cas" and Dean could hear that his own voice was wrecked, he didn't move when the Angel wrapped his arms around him. " We've destroyed him Cas, I...I've destroyed him" and for once Dean didn't pull away and maybe he cried just a little, and maybe part of that was frustration but maybe part of it was pure sadness and desperation. Dean didn't know exactly how events moved from outside Sam's room to inside his, but somehow they did.

Sorry I wrote this on mu Iphone so it looked longer on there, will try and make the next chapters a little longer, more Destiel and more angst in up coming chapters. All comments and Kudos welcome


	10. Chapter 10

They lay for what felt like hours wrapped in each others arms on Deans bed, and Dean wanted to take it further, wanted to admit the way he felt for Cas, tell him everything and let the lies between them be a thing of the past. Dean knew now why he had been confused for so long and it wasn't because he had been too afraid to come out of the closet, no he realized now more than ever that he had never been in the closet in the first place, he wasn't gay. Not that would of minded if he was, okay so it would of taken some adjusting to but he wouldn't of let that come in between him and Cas. He had realized it the moment he saw Castiel was a woman. The trouble was that Dean loved Cas regardless of his gender because Castiel didn't have a gender he was an angel. Dean didn't love just a man or a woman he loved a damn angel and how did you define that exactly, that was definitely screwed up and now held in this strong embrace he wanted to laugh at the irony of it all, Dean Winchester in love with an imortal being.. a monster even he guessed.... although Castiel was no monster and Dean would certainly never hunt him, that was out of the question entirely he would rather die than let anything happen to Cas. 

As it stood though he said nothing to his angel of his inner turmoil and this wasn't because he didn't want to or because there was any lingering self doubt over his feelings but because of the wretched shell of a person that lay on the bed in the room across the landing, a man that despite himself Dean loved more than Castiel a man he loved more than any one, his beautiful little brother, a choked sob caught in his throat at the things he'd done to him... no the 'thing' he'd done to him. It could never be undone and now there was a chance that Sam loved him in a way that Dean had never considered and that made it so much worse because Sam had been hoping for so much more and instead he got defiled by his own brother who had viciously assaulted him and made a mockery of the things that Sam had been dreaming of, Dean hadn't gotten the chance to let Sam down gently, have the 'I'll always love you.. but we're brothers chat' no. Dean had raped him... not had gentle loving sex or refused to have sex at all, the only two ways that scenario should ever of played out, now Sam would think Dean felt the same way, that there was a rough, raw sexual desire between them and Dean had just used him, even if he explained it the explanation just sounded so weak and pathetic and then Sam would know Dean didn't have a sexual desire for him at all but raped him any way, now that was just as screwed as his situation with Cas and he wasn't sure how you could love one person but not desire them but desire another person but not love them as much as the one you don't desire. Nope it was fucked to hell! the whole Damned thing.

''Dean are you ok? I'm worried about you, Sam will improve I promise you'' Dean laughed, he actually laughed because if the situation wasn't already bad enough, oh yeah there was the fact that now Sam was addicted to demon blood all over again and that was Dean's fault too and he decided to be honest with Castiel, at least about sam anyway  
''It's not that Cas.... it's I.... I... Raped Sam'' there he'd said it now maybe Cas would hate him anyway, maybe he'd even smite him   
''I know'' Cas's reply was small and Dean didn't know exactly how he knew but Cas quite often knew things he shouldn't, Dean didn't question it the guy was an Angel after all and Dean was too weak right now to argue this one out   
''Don't you hate me? aren't you going to smite me or something?'' Castiel looked at him sternly  
''No Dean I am not going to smite you, but you do realize you are going to have to explain what you did to Sam''   
''That's just it Cas.... Sam said somethings to me...while I was.. you know...'' He really had no desire to describe his brothers ordeal so he skipped to the point ''He basically said he didn't want sex with me to be like 'that''' Dean blushed as Cas's eyes widened  
''So you think..?''  
''I don't know Cas, God! I don't know! I mean I never thought that he did, I never got that impression but I suppose our situation isn't normal is it? we're like together constantly more than any real life couple I guess... and then there is the fact he can't have a proper relationship without the way we live messing it up, maybe he's confused or resigned to the fact it's me or no one''  
''And you? you don't feel the same''   
''No Cas. I don't feel the same, I love him, God I love him more than anyone really. I do. but he is my brother I don't desire him sexually and even if I did I wouldn't act upon it, it's wrong''  
''Yet you did have sex with him'' Ok Castiel wasn't really helping   
''Well.. yeah... but that was because I wanted him to be free of Lucifer and I didn't know what else would be bad enough to make him sell out on me''  
''He didn't''  
''Didn't what?''  
''Sell out on you''  
''What do you mean? he killed Lucifer didn't he? so he couldn't of cared that much whether Lucifer came for me if he was unsuccessful''  
''He asked me to make sure nothing bad happened to you.... which I would of done anyway and Sam probably knew that but i think it's proof that even after all this Sam still doesn't hate you'' Maybe Cas thought this was helping but he was just making Dean feel even more guilty about the whole thing, he was starting to think maybe it would be easier if Sam could just hate him like any other person would in this situation, except for this was Sam and he knew how fucked up their situations became and what was worse is he would probably even understand and that was not helpful either. Dean wasn't sure he wanted to be forgiven but then he didn't want Sam to take off either, it still hurt to think of him never seeing Sam again even after everything... even if Sam did have creepy incestuous feelings they would deal with it. they would find a way.

 

A/N sorry about the long wait for this chapter, this fic is way longer than it was ever meant to be so probably just a few more chapters until the conclusion...... she says.....


	11. Chapter 11

When Sam woke up his head felt heavy and painful, he felt like he had, had a heavy night on the tiles. He tried to pull himself up in a sitting position, the last dregs of sleep falling away from him quickly as reality and panic started to set in, he couldn't move his arms. Why couldn't he move his arms? taking a few short seconds to get his bearings he realized he was in his own room at the bunker, so why again were his damn arms tied? and why couldn't he remember anything after getting Lucifer in that damn box!   
''Hello'' he called cautiously, maybe Dean was around or Cas... although he wasn't sure if he really wanted to see either right now but he kinda didn't have a choice though what with being bound to the bed and all.   
''Sam?'' Dean... it was Dean.. he looked up to see his brother standing in the door way he wasn't sure if he was relived or not, wasn't sure if his brother still hated him and he certainly wasn't sure why his brother had him tied to the bed, he knew he couldn't stand a repeat performance of the last time Dean had him helpless like this.  
''Let me go'' He heard the anger and defiance in his own voice, venom in the words that he hadn't even realized he had felt.  
''Shush Sam it's ok, calm down'' Dean was striding towards the bed, Sam pulled backwards trying to draw in on himself as Dean stretched out a hand   
''Don't touch me! don't you dare touch me. What are you doing? why am I tied up like this Dean?'' Dean pulled back, a look of sadness suddenly in his eyes, Sam knew it well, he knew all of Dean well.  
''You've been out of it for three days Sam, demon blood.....'' he trailed off and Sam didn't need him to finish to realize what had happened.  
''oh'' is all he said for a second before continuing ''Am I... I mean I feel ok can you let me go now?''  
''Yeah, Yeah I think so'' Dean responded gingerly moving forwards and gently untying the binds  
''Uh thanks.. I guess'' Sam rubbed his aching wrists feeling the new awkwardness between himself and his brother more than ever. Where did he stand now? Dean had still come to his rescue, bringing him down from the Demons blood, even though technically it was Dean's fault to begin with. 

It appeared that Dean was equally as awkward because he wasn't saying anything... in fact he wasn't doing anything... just sitting there looking at Sam as though he had just risen from the dead... and really? Sam knew that look better than he should do.

''So we gonna talk about it?'' Dean started nodding  
''Yeah, yeah Sammy we're gonna talk about it, hit me with what you got''  
''Why did you...'Fuck this was harder than it should be ''Why the hell did you rape me Dean? because you think I'm in love with Cas? really? is that so bad that you would sexually assault me?'' he knew he sounded whiny and pissy but he had a right to be, Dean had violated him in the worst possible way and his explanation just wasn't good enough.  
''I..no... it was nothing to do with Castiel, I'm sorry I fucked up Sam big time I didn't know what else to do to make you hate me''  
''Why an earth would you want me to hate you Dean?''  
''I know that it was Lucifer that day in the bedroom....... I know you were letting him do that to you because you were protecting me'' Dean was speaking to him now through gritted teeth, this time however Sam knew the anger wasn't directed at him.  
''So what? you thought that by doing that I would hate you? that I wouldn't question it? just accept that my brother is a god damned rapist!'' He saw Dean flinch.  
''Sammy no! no I was dumb, I shouldn't have done anything to you let alone that! never that! for what it's worth I don't blame you if you leave, hell Sammy call the cops if you have to and I'll go willingly I promise'' There were tears in Dean's eyes now threatening to spill over and despite everything Sam realized it was hopeless he still loved Dean, maybe more now than ever.  
''Not gonna call the cops Dean''  
''You leaving?''  
''Do you want me to?''   
''No''   
''Then I guess I'm not leaving''  
''But.. Sam... you can't... I mean what happened... what I did.....it's unforgivable Sammy''  
''At the end of the day in your own weird warped way you did it for me Dean, I know it's fucked up, our whole lives are fucked up why should this be any different''  
''Don't you do this Sam! don't you dare do this!'' Dean actually had tears streaming his face  
''Do what Dean, forgive you? why is it so damn hard for you to see'' Sam had, had about enough   
'See what Sammy? see what exactly?'' Deans voice was harder now and Sam knows now that Dean knows. he knows that Sam loves him more than he should and somehow Sam doesn't care anymore, in fact he is relieved. Like a weight lifted from his shoulders.  
''That I love you Dean''  
''Yeah and I don't love you? is that it?'' Ok so he's going with denial right up until the last second  
''No. You don't love me Dean. Not like that you don't'' surprised at how flat... almost dead his voice sounded

the words hung in the air between them, finally out in the open.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean stopped for a second unsure of what to say, what could he say?? Sam wanted him, wanted him as more than a brother and Dean owed him everything and would give him anything but he didn't know if he could give him 'that'.  
''I mean are you sure?'' was all that actually came out of his mouth.... it was lame. Sam began to laugh but it wasn't his usual deep throated laugh that was reserved for movies and Dean's lame jokes. no. this laugh was dry and hollow.  
''Hell! of course I'm sure Dean, don't you think this bothers me as much as it bothers you? to think I'm in love with my own brother! do you think I wanted this?''  
''No it's just what about Amanda and Ruby? Sammy what about Jess? I mean you loved Jess right? that wasn't just an act, I know, I was there I saw you fall apart when that shit went down'' Sam was shaking his head now.  
''No I loved Jess alright,the only person in the whole world that could take my mind off you, one of the reasons I wanted to get away from you so badly in the first place because how could I get over you when you were always around''Dean said nothing, what could he say, there it was in black and white, how could Sam get over Dean when he was always there but then neither of them wanted the other to leave, Dean was dimly aware that he was probably the more selfish party in that but he didn't want to admit it.  
''Besides Dean, look what happened to Jess'' and there was the other factor that had been bothering Dean, even if Sam could move on, find someone he actually loved as much or maybe more than Dean ( and Dean wasn't sure how he felt about that either) it would mean embroiling them into their already fucked up insane lives that frequently resulted in anyone they cared about... and well just anyone around them for that matter getting killed or seriously hurt, and he could understand completely why Sam wouldn't want to risk that.  
''Ok... so I mean... how do you want to do this?..... do you want to give this a go?'' he couldn't believe what he was offering, and what about Cas? but then he knew he could never really choose Cas over Sam, that, that would never be an option, anything or anyone else definitely! but not Sam. never Sam, his little brother came first before everything.  
''Jesus Dean! no! how creepy is that?''  
''What you're calling me creepy? you're the one with a penchant for incest here.... I'm just rolling along with it'' Sam visibly blanched  
''Sorry Sammy, I didn't mean to..it just came out'' Dean instantly regretted the harsh words  
''It's fine...really but just please don't suggest that again''  
''Well what then? ''  
''Nothing is what, the same as we have always been, do you really think I could do those 'things' with you knowing that you don't really want them?''  
''Maybe I would grow to want them'' but even Dean could hear the uncertainty in his own voice  
''I doubt it... but anyway aside from not being prepared to fuck you into the mattress every night knowing it's not really what you want... oh and please forgive me for that Dean'' Sam glared at him before continuing ''you're in love with someone else!'' Dean stepped back... so Sam knew.... well obviously he would know, Sam knew him better than anyone and Dean had always hoped he would just know about Cas anyway because he never wanted to have to explain it. Didn't want the chick flick moment.  
''Yeah well nothing is gonna happen there... especially not now anyway''  
''Why not?''  
''Because I'm making you miserable enough, without adding to it by taking up with another man!'' and he realized how absurd and stupid that sounded as he rolled it off his tongue, he had certainly never expected to be saying that especially not to Sam, and Sam was laughing again but this time it sounded more real. more like him.  
''Nothing has to change between us, I'm not miserable Dean, I've dealt with this for a long time I know it's not going to happen and it shouldn't happen. It's not right we're brothers for heaven's sake! lets face it if our lives were like most normal people this unhealthy attachment that we have would never of occurred and these feelings are probably more of a product of environment and upbringing than anything else''  
''Have you been psycho analyzing yourself Sammy?  
''No...well maybe... just a little, but anyhow the point is you aren't making me miserable, I would be more miserable if we were separated, I know our lives are anything but perfect but I wouldn't trade them. not these days anyway, and as for Cas... you gotta figure that one out for yourself because well... being in love with an angel is probably going to bring you a shit load more problems as if we don't have enough already, but I don't want to be a deciding factor between you guys, I want you do be happy Dean and Cas? well he's pretty cool too''  
''What about you though? I mean.... won't you feel like.. resentment?''  
''How well do you know me?''  
''Well that's true you always did like to play the martyr Bitch''

''Jerk'' Sam responded grinning slightly

''Fuck off''  
Dean could totally do this.... he could go forward with normal.... well normal for them anyhow and he could totally find Sam another Jess..... there had to be someone else out there for his idiot little brother right?

 

 

When Dean found Cas in the kitchen they just stared at each other for a long time they didn't need to talk..... finally Castiel crossed the room and took Dean's hands.  
''Do you want to try this Dean? or do you want me to walk away for a while, leave you to sort things out with Sam?''  
''No.. Cas... I think.. I think I'd like to..to'' but he was cut off by soft warm lips engulfing his own.

 

The End

 

A/N sooo I finally felt like this story had come to it's natural conclusion as it was only ever meant to be 3/4 chapters and somehow turned into 8months and twelve chapters later, I think it's a fairly happy ending as promised but sorry if it disappoints. Hope you have enjoyed and any comments and Kudos of gratefully received. :)


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